Day 2.
Miles: 3.77
Time: 40.25mins
I was definitely not looking forward to today’s run based on the fact the weather was miserable and I have serious issues with getting wet in the rain. I hate wet knees, and rain drops on the face make me irrationally mad. And I got a stitch only 5 mins in so I was a bit grumpy. Luckily it passed, just in time to run past the Industrial Estate and get a nose full of nice hot fluffy chips. God damnit.
Today I realised a big problem is going to be tackling the boredom of running. Obviously I think about various things while running but there’s only so far the inner weird thoughts of Karen will take you. Tried the tactic of “think about that doughnut on the kitchen side at home”, but that just made me nervous at the fact Darwin might eat it before I get there (he didn’t). But any ideas of how to tackle running boredom are greatly appreciated.
P.S. Mum beat Katie Price’s marathon time. Also an important fact.
Day 0.
Miles: 3.04 + 500m Swim
Time: 34.5 mins
Apparently the powers that be know I’m writing a marathon blog, because today they provided me with comedy gold.
I decided to go swimming at Wildern; I miss having a pool nearby in Egham. The school has become significantly nicer than when we were there! That must be why they charge £4 for a swim now….
Went into the changing rooms. What an experience. When we were little, my mum taught me the necessary skills of getting dressed without displaying too much (bra over the towel, the famous underwear twisting trick). The elderly ladies of Hedge End obviously were not so well informed. The first woman, about 80, came in, stood next to me, and stripped to her nudders in about 3 seconds.
“Oh this weather is terrible isn’t it! I almost didn’t want to come swimming this morning!” she says to me, hand on her hip, still bloody naked.
She chats on for about 5 minutes about the weather, the storms, and the traffic building up in Hedge End (a pretty serious problem), meanwhile I’m still trying to get dressed.
“Oh lovely bra dear!” Words fail me.
Then when I go to leave, I turn the corner and am faced with a pretty rotund ass of another middle-aged naked woman bent over picking up something from the floor. I think I’ll stick to running.
I went on the same run as yesterday after a rather unexpected nap this afternoon – must have been all those exhausting cuddles with the very cute baby Sophie I met today! The run was good, although I need to buy some serious sports socks now. Not sure the frog print socks are going to cut it.
I was having a bit of a panic a few days ago, but these last 2 runs make me feel a little bit better. Didn’t see any fatties out and about today so I had to settle for window-judging at McDonalds. I say this even though I’m about to inhale pizza and a mammoth box of chocolates….
Tomorrow the schedule starts officially. Mondays and Fridays will be rest days. Mondays, because I have lab meetings which are exhausting enough without having to run, and Fridays, because I like to drag work friends to the pub 🙂
So tomorrow I will be spending my rest day FINALLY finishing Breaking Bad and catching up with a uni friend in Portsmouth. Mind you, going there, might end up running anyway if the skates get too close…
Day -1.
Miles: 3.04
Time: 36 mins
Today I went shopping with Becky and Tom and bought some pretty saucy running gear. And by saucy, I mean gloves, a bright orange top and a headband to soak up the sweat. I genuinely have no idea why I’m single….
Yes the orange top matches my hair. Yes I “stink of piss”. Now get over it and move on.
I geared up, hoping I wouldn’t regret that ridiculously large sausage baguette I had earlier. The dog was moping because he wasn’t coming with me, giving me that look like he’s beaten and starved on a regular basis.
Started running and I didn’t get a stitch, pretty good going. Coming down Wildern Lane I ran past a pretty bariatric family – this put a smile on my face, for once I got to be the judgemental one. And by bariatric I mean Vanessa Phelps eating Rick Waller level of fat.
No one tells you running past a fish and chip shop would be such torture.
Thought about lots of things on the run:
1. “Thank god Mum bought me big pants for Christmas. Very important in following Auntie Clare’s only marathon advice – don’t wear a thong.”
2. “How on earth am I going to run in the snow in the Czech Republic? Mmmmm, goulash.”
3. “Writing a blog means I can channel the Bridget Jones-like character I seem to have become. Oh bugger, I need to feed Bridget.”
Then, the song changed on my IPOD (which is unprofessionally stashed down my bra in the absence of an arm holder or pocket):
Do “girls just want to have fun”, Cyndi Lauper? No they bloody don’t. Because if that’s true, I wouldn’t be freezing my tits off running past B&Q with the stench of sewage up my nose.
Why on Earth am I doing a Marathon?!
As some of you may know, I am running the Brighton Marathon in 2014 – in 14 weeks time. I’ve decided to keep a blog so that a) I can track my training, b) everyone can laugh at this ridiculous situation I have put myself in, and c) the comedy I shall provide can be exchanged for sponsorship when the time arrives!
So why exactly am I doing the marathon? (I ask myself this on a daily basis…). My Mum and Dad have a bucket list. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket”, and Dad decided he wanted to do another Marathon. Even though he’s mega old.
As his favourite child (siblings, don’t deny it), I bought him a very special Christmas present in 2012 – a place for Brighton Marathon. Sounds harsh, but he did also get a whimsical T-shirt stating “If found on floor, drag to finish line”. I’m nice like that. But obviously I couldn’t let him do it alone and so signed myself up too. I instantly regret this decision….
So here is my blog, I hope it amuses you all 🙂
P.S. My mum has done a marathon. She insists I must inform you all.
Cool Runnings 